Randomness to the 6th Power
by ThunderBenderPrincess
Summary: A random story, with random plots, and set in random times. A random order to the chapters.Please R&R!
1. Oh Baby

Welcome to my random POTC story!!

**Warning: Some chapters may include crazy fangirls, strange inside jokes, and weapons that shoot fizzy drinks and sweet  
candy.**

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Jack, Elizabeth, Barbossa, and Will were standing on the deck of the Black Pearl. They were looking out into the pink magenta waters of worlds end. 

"Goo." a voice said. Everyone looked around at eachother. Then they all turned to see a baby walking on deck. 

"Huh?" Will asked 

"How?" Barbossa asked 

"Whose?" Elizabeth asked. Everyone turned toward the blonde. 

"It's not mine!!" she said. "All I remember having made is a basket of chocolate chip cookies!!" 

"Well then, whose baby is it?" Jack asked 

"Why don't you ask it?" Barbossa asked 

"Babies can't talk!" Will yelled 

"Yes they can! Ask the purple sea pickles, and they'll tell you!" 

"Have you had you medicine today?" Will asked 

"...Maybe." was all Barbossa said. Jack picked up the baby and looked it over. 

"ARGGH!" it said 

"Arggh?" Jack replied, turning to Barbossa. 

"It's not mine!!!" he yelled. "For all we know, it could be yours Jack!" 

"Captain." the baby said 

"And that proves it!" Barbossa yelled 

"That's it time for your shots, and your visit to the plushy room." Will said, dragging a flailing and screaming Barbossa away. Then, the baby made a popping noise with its mouth. 

"Is it Davy Jones baby?" Elizabeth asked 

"It might be. I think we should send it to the depths where its father lives!!" Jack said, about to throw the baby overboard. 

"No Jack!!" Elizabeth said. "I don't think it is Davy's baby." 

**Feeling annoyed with this game, the baby gave up.**

"Where's the rum, savvy?" the baby said. Jack stared at the baby wide eyed, then fainted right there on the deck. Leaving Elizabeth alone with the baby. 

"So... uh, you wanna go go-carting?" Elizabeth asked the baby 

"Sure!" the baby said, and they sailed into the sunset and lived happily ever after!! 


	2. Go Fish

Hello!! Glad you all liked the first chappie!

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Beckett, Bootstrap Bill, some girl, and Davy Jones were all sitting in a circle, doing the most important thing in the history of history! 

"You got any threes?" Beckett asked

"Go fish." the girl said. She kept staring at Beckett, until he looked at her.

"Who are you?" he asked

"Oh! I'm Anna Maureen! You're fangirl!!" she said, leaning against Beckett. Beckett smiled and pointed at Boostrap.

"Ha! I told you I had a fangirl out there, somewhere, in the wide, wide world!!! Pay up." Beckett held out his hand, and Bootstrap laid twenty bucks in his palm.

"Stupid shortie, with his powdered wig, and those boots of sex." Bootstrap mumbled

"I'm not short!!" Beckett yelled. "I'm just... petite."

"I don't care what your height is. I still love you Beckie-boo!" Anna said, jumping up and hugging Beckett. He pushed her arms off and glared at her.

"How could you do that? That was not proper hugging techniques!" Beckett ranted.

"Can we please play go fish?!?" Davy roared. "I am Davy Jones, master of the sea, and I have the power to strap you to seaweed in a large seaweed forest where otters will nibble at you eyeballs until you die! Mwahahaha!!!!"

"Dude, you have issues." Bootstrap said

"I don't have issues!!!" Davy yelled. "That kind of outburst has earned you a one way ticket to Fresno!"

"Wah!" Bootstrap cried. "I don't wanna go to Fresno!! Idon'wannaIdon'wannaIdon'wannaIdon'wannaIdon'wanna!!!"

"Yeah, you definatly have issues." Beckett agreed

"Silence, or I will whip you with a wet noodle!!"

"Why can't you learn to love, Davy-wavy?" Anna asked. Davy stood there, before breaking down and crying like a baby.

"I can't help being cruel and heartless! I cut out my heart! Wahahaha!!!" Davy said sobbing.

"Oh, well that explains everything. Except the immortality, your ability to live without said organ, how you give people the black spot, and the calamari face." Anna said

"I get it from my mommy's side." Davy said. The doors suddenly opened, and in came Sora, keyblade drawn.

"Did somebody say Heartless? Where?" he said. His gaze landed on Davy.

"Taste the power of light you soggy heartless!!!" Sora said charging at Davy. Davy did a little girl shriek and ran out of the room with Sora hot on his trail. The others shrugged and turned back to their game.

"Got any fives?" Bootstrap asked. Beckett reluctantly handed two of them over, and Bootstrap laid down his cards in victory.

"I knew I'd win! Pay up." Bootstrap said, holding out his hand. They both took a bag of skittles and put them in his open palm.

"YAY!" he squealed. "Now I can finally taste the rainbow!"


	3. Ice cream

In the city of Port Royal, things seemed peaceful when Norrington was taking a walk. He was eating some soft serve ice cream in a sugar cone, because he himself looks like an ice cream when he's in his full Commodore Brocade. Anyway, he reached the Smithy, and decided to go in.

"Helooo? Anybody home?" He asked as he poked his head in the door. He then went in and saw a sword on an anvil.

"OOOH, shiny!" he said as he grabbed it and dropped his ice cream. "AH!!! My ice cream!! WAAAAH!!!" Norrington said, dropping to his knees. "It's ruined!!! I had to pay six weasles for that!!! Maybe, I can get another one!! " Norrington went up the ramp, when something fell on him.

"Bugger. That didn't work." Jack said as he got up

"What're you doing here?" Norrington said, brushing himself off.

"Oh, hello Jaimy. I was trying to use what some people call super powers to climb up walls, and make spider webs out of coconut oil." Jack said. "And I shall call myself... Spider Jack!!"

"Do you have any ida how ridiculous you sound?"

"Says the man who was crying over an ice cream cone."

"It was special!!! We developed a bond. I don't have time for this. I have to get another ice cream cone before the weasles go back to the planet Shmangee."

"Cool! I'll come with you!"

"And why would you do that?"

"Honestly... I've got nothing better to do."

"Fine." Norrington sighed. "But if you touch my brocade, You are **DEAD**!"

"Kay!" They walked through the town, and then saw a pickle on the ground.

"There's our way to the weasles!!!' Norrington yelled as he ran up to the pickle and kissed it.

"Umm, what?"

"I could've asked him the same thing." The pickle said. "Hey James mister! What's the word?"

"Everything's cool dawg. Me and my homes here, 've been wondering where the weasles went."

"The weasles skipped town, and went to look for some cool cat named Rog."

"They left? WAAAAAAAHHHH!!! They leave any sweet goods dude?"

"Nah, the whole place looked like it was stashed."

"Rats."

"Uh, Norrington? What were you saying?" Jack asked, watching the conver

"The weasles went away. And they took all their vanilla ice cream with them!"

"Oh, that's good." Jack said, smiling.

"Good? GOOD?!?!?! How can that be GOOD?!?!? There's nothing GOOD about it!!!!!!" Norrington said, ranting.

"Yeah there is!" Jack pulled out an ice cream cone, but the ice cream was brown. "They didn't take the chocolate!" Jacke gulped the ice cream in a second, and Norrington fainted there. The pickle jumped on him and took out his wallet, and took all of Norrington's money.

"Good ole Norrie!" The pickle said. "I can always count on him to have a full wallet!"


	4. Cabin Fever!

On the Black Pearl, the crew was sitting around, doing absolutely nothing.

"It's been a week since we left Tortuga." Marty said

"Three days without a breeze." Gibbs said. The crew was all steaming, when Ragetti stood up.

"I've got the madness!" he said, shaking. "I've got cabin fever!!!" Pintel smacked him in the back of the head.

"No ye don't ye git, I've got it!!!" he said, suddenly shaking.

"What's all this then? Cabin fever?" Jack said

"Aye sir!" said half the crew

"Good, then I'm not the only one feeling it."

**"I've got cabin fever, it's burning in my brain!"** Gibbs sang

**"I've got cabin fever, it's driving me insane!"** Marty sang

Elizabeth, Will, and Tia Dalma popped out of nowhere and began singing along, bobbing their heads from left to right.

**"We've got cabin fever, we're flipping our bandanas. Been stuck at sea so long that we have simply gone bananas!!"**

The ship and scenery seemed to change, as well as the pirate's outfits. The crew looked colorful against the dark sky, and lighting aboard made one cool musical!!!

**"Chica chica boom boom chica chica boom boom chic!"** The crew sang, while Marty and Gibbs were shaking their maracas. **"Chica chica boom boom chica chica boom boom chic. We, we, we've got cabin fever, we've lost all sense we've had,"** Sang the crew. **"We've got cabin fever, we're all going mad!!"**

**"My sanity is hanging by a thread,"** sang Jack, who was wearing a sombrero and was swinging around upside down above the crew. **"Since we're going nowhere, I've gone out of my head!"**

Then the crew joined in.

**"We were sailing, sailing over the bounding sea!" **

"And now we're not!" Ragetti said. Everybody groaned, while Pintel seemed to have developed a southern accent for the next part, as he picked up a fiddle.

**"Grab your partner by the ear, lash 'em to the wheel."** Everybody grabbed everybody else by the ear and pushed them into the helm. **"Do si do, step on his toe,"** he stepped on Ragetti's foot. **"Listen to him squeal."**

"OW!" Then Will took Liz as his partner, while Barbossa popped in to take Tia.

**"Allemande left, allemande right, it's time to sail or sink. Swing your partner over the side, drop him in the drink." **

Elizabeth and Tia both flinged their men over the railing, and gave each other a high five.

"We've got cabin fever," Norrington said, popping in out of nowhere, loading his pistol.

"No ifs ands or buts." Governor Swann said, doing the same

"We're disoriented," Norrington said, pointing at GS with his pistol.

"And demented," GS said, doing the same to Norrington.

"And a little nuts!" Then they both said as they turned and fired at themselves. Only thing is, they forgot the bullets. Out of the smoke, the Flying Dutchman crew appeared, walking in two single file lines, with the last person carrying a flag that had a chicken drumstick crossed over a pickle.

**"Ach du lieber Volswagen car,"** they sang.

**"Yodel-lay-ee-hoo!"** the last guy sang

**"Saur braten viener schnitzel, Und a vunder bar." **

**"We were sailing,"** Jack and Will sang, **"sailing, the wind was on our side."** Fog formed around Jack's cabin's doors, when skeleton Barbossa stepped out.

"And then it died." he said

"I've got cabin fever, I think I lost my grip!" Elizabeth said

"Like to get my hands on whoever wrote this script." Jack said with murder in his eyes.

"Gulp." I said, as I hid amongst the pirates. Then the cabin doors opened again to reveal Davy Jones singing with a women's voice, wearing a grass skirt, and dancing the Ally Mcbeal baby dance!

**"IIIIII Was floating 'neath a tropic moooon,"** Jack lowered a little moon on a string in front of Davy, **"and dreaming of a blue lagooooooon,"** Will moved a set piece that looked like a tropical island, **"now I'm as crazy as a loon!" **

He knocked over the set piece and pulled on the string to make Jack fall to the ground. Everybody seemed to group into a choir formation and swayed as they sang, and in front was I, dressed as a pirate.

**"Cabin Fever has ravaged all aboard! This once fine vessel has become a floating psycho ward! We were sailing, sailing heading who knows where, but now that we're all here, we're not all there!!" **

They all went crazy, with the dances they did, before turning to the camera with crazy smiles on their faces before saying the crazy words that started this crazy musical... crazy.

**"Cabin Fever!"**

p.s. crazy.

p.s.s "It's supercalifragalisticexpialidocious!" _Bonk!_

"Thank you for reading this chapter!" Jack said as he knocked me out.


	5. Christmas Palm

**Thunder: Oh man, how long has it been since I updated this story? Too long. Here's another chapter. Enjoy**

** Warning: You might not understand half of this chapter due to arbor-logical stuff.**

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"Oh Christmas palm, oh Christmas palm!" Jack sang, tying an ornament onto a random palm tree that was on the deck of the Pearl. He was wearing a Santa hat, singing the tune oh Tannenbaum, replacing Tree with the word palm. Will and Liz who were arguing, came up to Jack.

"Jack, we have a couple problems we were hoping you could help us with." Liz asked

"If it involves how to give birth, masturbating, or just doing it, I'll tell you later, but now I have to decorate the palm tree for santa!" Jack said

"Actually, we were having an argument about the tree. You see, I think it's a coconut palm, but Will..." Liz started

"I think it's a Betel palm." he said

"You're both wrong. It's a date palm!" Gibbs said, walking up to the group.

"Everybody is wrong. It's obviously a sago palm!" Pintel

"Actually, sagos trunks look more like upside down christmas trees and are large around the middle parts, while this is rather skinny. Thus in conclusion, this is a windmill palm." Ragetti said. Everybody looked at him dumbfounded.

"Who knew he was smart?" Gibbs whispered to Liz.

"I know I didn't bother to ask. The eye just keeps creeping me out." Liz whispered back.

"You are ALL wrong! This my friends is called a royal palm!" Jack said, getting off his ladder and standing in front of the group.

"OH!" Said everybody in the group when little light bulbs over their heads turned on... except Pintel.

"But if it's a royal palm, how'd you get the ornaments all the way on top of it?" he asked

"With a ladder you dolt." Ragetti said

"Did you just call me a dolt?" Pintel asked, seething with anger.

"No... he did." Ragetti said, pointing to a random pirate.

"I'll git you!" Pintel said, pulling out a medieval flail and chasing after the pirate.

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Jack started hanging garland on the railing of the Pearl as Liz and Will came up to him once again.

"We had other things to ask you." Will said. "Why'd you leave?"

"I had to decorate the ship for Christmas. Duh!" Jack said

"Well, another question we had was how the palm tree came to be on the ship." Li asked. Jack sighed and turned to the couple.

"A swallow." Jack said

"A swallow?" Liz asked

"A swallow." Jack said

"A swallow." Will said disbelieving.

"A swallow! How may time do I have to say it?" Jack asked

"Three." Li said

"Thank you." Jack said. "Long ago, a swallow flew over the ship and dropped a Royal palm tree seed that got stuck between the boards and was watered by rain and thus it grew and is now a Christmas palm!"

"Oh!" the two said.

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It was dark at night and Jack, wearing a large dark pair of sunglasses, plugged two power cords together, causing the whole ship to come alight. He already knew Will and Liz were behind him before they asked their question.

"The lights are powered by paid pixies deep within the confines of the ship." he said. He turned to see them wearing sunglasses as well. Liz had a nice pink pair, while Will wore that weird pair that goes over a persons head.

"What's the meaning of life, the universe, and everything?" They asked in unison. Jack turned to them, lowering his glasses.

"It's forty-two, Savvy?" Jack turned around, but forgot to put his glasses back on.

"AH! MY EYES!!!!" he yelled, holding his eyes, rolling on the deck.

"There's just one more thing I need to tell you Jack." Liz said

"And what would that be?" Jack asked

"Christmas was Last month." Liz said

"..."

"Jack?"

"I'm not taking anything down until after Christmas _next_ year!"


End file.
